Aella

Coffee Table Developments

aella2010 — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 10:25:25 +0000

I went back

and fell asleep

my dreams peaceful – they were not meant to be.

Haunted of you

your quizzical gaze

the girl you now see confuses you.

She was rigid – No fun you thought

Too straight-laced

You might have never lived up.

Now you watch her

cross legged on the floor

Vodka with ice

bottoms up with the boys

She drags on a pallmall

to calm her nerves.

Futile.

Love?

Cherry Chocolate Memoirs

aella2010 — Sat, 29 May 2010 16:12:33 +0000

You left behind.

I sift the coco.

It slips through my fingers,

powdery granules,

delicately divine,

yet, bad for the heart.

I’m left behind,

with stained chocolate fingers,

and a jar of maraschino,

not daring to taste,

or wipe away temptation.

Taste and my heart dearly will pay,

and to wipe, I know not how.

Untitled

aella2010 — Sun, 16 May 2010 17:09:56 +0000

I guess it was easy,

to have the words roll off your tongue.

Tell them about us – myself and him.

I hope it brought you peace,

when you told them “I’m happy for her”

when you said “She’s so mature, I’d never live up”

I don’t fucking care.

But I do miss you,

now that you’re scarce,

and I wish,

that just for a day,

we can have just one more evening,

of quiet conversation and easy being,

before I drop out of the race,

and call it quits,

coz I’m tired and guilty,

of lying to home.

Contradictions

aella2010 — Sun, 16 May 2010 16:51:31 +0000

I might write,

randomly about you,

think of things you’d do,

and compare what you wouldn’t.

I’d be ok, with all your flaws,

with all your nonchalance,

but with him, no room for mistakes,

I’m an unforgiving woman,

and for that, you, I loathe.

Just when I think

aella2010 — Fri, 14 May 2010 14:38:59 +0000

You’re out of my head,

out of my mind,

you come back,

with a rush of memories,

with a barrage of occurrences,

that I seemed to have missed,

and I feel helpless,

knowing you keep away,

coz I’d rather have you there,

even with her,

than not at all.

You

aella2010 — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:50:47 +0000

Can,

go,

take,

hike.

A request

aella2010 — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:04:09 +0000

So you’re going through with it.

What you said you never would,

touch with a barge pole,

Now you hold close at night.

Burn all the bridges.

Make it quick.

Beat me to the end,

for closures sake.

Overdue

aella2010 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:55:40 +0000

Last night I saw you, it’s been a while. I said I couldn’t remember your face, it’s been that long.You came in with your casual grace. Generally you’d sit down next to me,but you remembered that protocol was now different, so you moved away to the cane chair right across my seat. I willed myself not to let you get to me, but you did.

The orange in my lap was my buoy. Keeping me afloat when the magnitude of your presence tried to drown me. Those few minutes I learnt how to peel an orange without breaking the perfect circular rind. A fiery sunset orange blazing in my lap. I sliced it in circles, dropping a perfect sliver into his drink. It sunk to the bottom of the glass, drowning in a sea of dark liquid. You were talking, you’ve always been entertaining. You remind me of Chandler Bing, expressions and all.

The next few words spiralled out of my mouth without a seconds thought. Something about bumpy landings and it offended you. Possibly because I’ve always been supportive of what you do. I still am. Forgive the momentary angst. The long injured look was lost on me, perhaps I felt smug. I don’t know, but it was refreshing.

He will kiss me. Sometimes right in front of you. He’s not afraid to show his emotions, unlike some men who proclaim never to take initiative. Don’t get all fidgety, don’t run your hands through your hair like that. It’s unbecoming, you’ll give yourself away. This secret you’ve kept to yourself for so long. Bring her name up every time he holds me around the waist or reaches over to fix my drink. If it rubs salve into your wounds, I’ll play along. After all, two can play that game. I learnt from the best.

A moment

aella2010 — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:14:17 +0000

He watches her.

She watches him back.

He looks away when he touches her leg,

Kisses her nose.

Runs a careless finger over her collarbone.

He watches him caress her cheek

she cradles her face in his palm

tilts her head and catches him watching

She gets up, feeling his eyes on her exposed back

Soft tendrils of hair cascading down her spine

her long neck,

She turns

He looks at her directly

intensity in a moment

encapsulated, unspoken.

She looks him in the eye

and takes her due place

away from him.

He turns and drags on his cigarette.

She puts on her most convincing smile

and lights her own.

Thanks but No Thank you

aella2010 — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:00:50 +0000

So you want to meet today?

By the beach?

For a drink?

No thank you,

I’m meeting someone else.

Run along now

meet the crowd

why don’t you bring her with you?

your trophy lover.

Are you afraid

she’ll never measure up?